How To Choke Someone BDSM

Disclaimer: The following information is provided for educational purposes only and is intended for consensual adult BDSM play among experienced participants. Always prioritize safety, thorough negotiation, and informed consent. If you are inexperienced or unsure about any technique, seek professional training and mentorship.

Choking—or breath control play—in BDSM is a high-risk activity that requires a deep understanding of anatomy, technique, and safety protocols. When performed correctly, it can intensify sensations and deepen trust between partners. However, improper technique can lead to serious injury. Below, we outline a safe approach to choking someone in a BDSM context.

Understanding the Basics

The Objective of Choking in BDSM

The aim of choking in a BDSM setting is to momentarily restrict airflow to enhance arousal, create a sense of vulnerability, and heighten the overall intensity of the scene. It is critical to note that this practice is never intended to cut off oxygen or blood flow completely. Instead, the goal is to apply controlled, temporary pressure.

Anatomy 101: What You Need to Know

When choking, focus on applying gentle pressure to the sides of the neck, where the carotid arteries are located, rather than directly on the windpipe (trachea). The carotid arteries supply blood to the brain, and light pressure can create a brief rush of endorphins, while direct pressure on the trachea can be dangerous.

Pre-Scene Preparation

Thorough Negotiation and Consent

Before engaging in choking play, have an in-depth negotiation with your partner. Discuss exactly what will be done, which areas of the neck are acceptable for pressure, and agree on clear safe words or signals. This conversation should cover:

• The specific techniques you plan to use.
• How long the pressure will be applied.
• Any medical or anatomical concerns.
• Emergency procedures, including the immediate use of a safe word.

Preparing the Environment and Tools

Choose a private, well-lit area free from distractions. Have all necessary tools readily available, including a pair of safety scissors for quickly releasing any restraints if needed. Ensure that your partner is comfortable, and that you both understand the agreed-upon signals.

Step-by-Step Techniques for Choking Safely

Basic Hand Choking Technique

1. Positioning: Have your partner in a comfortable, controlled position. It’s best if they are seated or lying down.

2. Hand Placement: Gently place your dominant hand on the side of their neck. Focus on the area just below the jawline, avoiding direct pressure on the windpipe. Your fingers should aim to lightly contact the sides of the neck where the carotid arteries run.

3. Applying Pressure: Using a light, steady pressure, begin by pressing gently. The goal is to create a subtle constriction—enough to produce a heightened awareness but not so much that it causes pain or distress.

4. Monitoring: Continuously observe your partner’s reaction. Look for signs of distress such as changes in skin color, difficulty breathing, or any verbal cues. Maintain constant communication, checking in with your partner throughout the process.

5. Releasing Pressure: Never hold the choke for an extended period. Release the pressure immediately if your partner uses their safe word or shows any signs of distress.

Advanced Techniques and Variations

As you gain experience and trust, you may choose to incorporate additional tools or vary your technique:

• Using Soft Scarves or Padded Tools: These can help distribute pressure more evenly and reduce the risk of injury.
• Alternating Pressure: Combine choking with other forms of stimulation, such as impact play, to create a varied sensory experience. Always ensure that the transition between techniques is smooth and that safety is never compromised.

Advanced methods should only be attempted when both partners are highly experienced and have established a strong foundation of trust and communication.

Aftercare and Recovery

Importance of Aftercare

After a choking session, aftercare is critical. It helps your partner transition from the intensity of the scene back to a state of calm and ensures that any physical or emotional discomfort is addressed promptly.

Effective aftercare may include:

• Gentle massages around the neck and shoulders.
• Providing water or a light snack to help stabilize blood sugar levels.
• Soft blankets or a quiet, comfortable space to relax.
• A calming conversation to reassure and debrief the experience.

Real-Life Experiences

Case Study: Controlled Choking Success

Sam, an experienced Dominant, shares that his journey with choking began with extensive research and practice. By focusing on gentle pressure and constant communication, he was able to incorporate choking into his play in a way that enhanced both arousal and trust. His partners appreciated the balance between intensity and care, and his emphasis on aftercare helped solidify the positive experience.

Sam’s experience underscores the importance of education, practice, and mutual trust in creating a safe choking dynamic.

Expert Insights and Final Thoughts

Words of Wisdom

Veteran Dominant Marcus Steele advises, “Choking in BDSM should always be approached with the utmost care and respect. It’s a high-risk activity that, when done correctly, can heighten the experience—but safety and consent must always be your top priorities.”

BDSM counselor Fiona Rivera adds, “Clear communication and continuous monitoring are key. Both partners need to be fully aware of the risks and prepared to adjust immediately if anything feels off. With the right approach, choking can be a thrilling addition to your play.”

Practical Reminders

• Always Educate Yourself: Prioritize training and practice before incorporating choking into your scenes.
• Negotiate Clearly: Detailed pre-scene negotiations set the stage for a safe and consensual experience.
• Monitor Constantly: Stay vigilant to your partner’s cues and be ready to stop immediately if necessary.
• Prioritize Aftercare: Ensure your partner recovers safely with a thorough aftercare routine.

Resources and Community Support

Further Learning and Networking

• Instructional Workshops: Attend specialized workshops on breath control play to receive hands-on training.
• BDSM Blogs and Websites: Explore reputable online sources that provide in-depth articles and videos on safe choking techniques.
• Podcasts: Listen to programs like "Kink Academy" for expert discussions and real-life experiences with choking in BDSM.
• Online Communities: Join forums on Reddit (e.g., r/BDSM) to share insights and ask questions.
• Books: Consider reading comprehensive guides on BDSM that cover advanced techniques and safety measures for breath control play.

Additionally, local BDSM events and munches offer invaluable opportunities to network with experienced practitioners and gain mentorship. Building a strong, supportive community is essential for continuous growth and inspiration on your journey into choking play.

By following these guidelines, you can explore choking in BDSM as a controlled, consensual, and deeply exhilarating practice. Enjoy the journey, prioritize safety at every step, and let your passion for exploration guide you in creating transformative experiences.